Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
