how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
