Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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