im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
