I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You can't just leave with hair like that
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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