i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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