Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
