Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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