More tranny stories later!
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize