id be glad to
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
