cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
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