After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
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I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
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I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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