the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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