Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
