4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
