it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
