and you said cock pushups were impossible
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
