the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
