Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
