Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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