He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
