covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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