Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Ketchup is God's man juice
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
