it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
