He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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