I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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