oh god the rape fog is back!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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