yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
