just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
