Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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