i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize