worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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