Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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