So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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