I wanna passion pit in your ass
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Randomize
