Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.

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  (407): im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes (1-407): i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes. http://tfl.nu/3nr6
  Replies (21) Good night (4166) Bad night (733)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.

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  (361): I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing. http://tfl.nu/i6wh
  Replies (29) Good night (670) Bad night (3724)
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  (805): View more from California

  im having a threesome with these popsicles

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  (805): im having a threesome with these popsicles http://tfl.nu/tuy7
  Replies (27) Good night (3390) Bad night (1346)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like

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  (425): i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like http://tfl.nu/fun3
  Replies (43) Good night (1321) Bad night (3297)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.

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  (321): When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me. http://tfl.nu/jzk3
  Replies (33) Good night (10552) Bad night (1036)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.

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  (404): Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center. http://tfl.nu/it0q
  Replies (18) Good night (997) Bad night (4464)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them

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  (214): then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them http://tfl.nu/nuwa
  Replies (8) Good night (1608) Bad night (717)
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  (714): View more from California

  the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.

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  (714): the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead. http://tfl.nu/2k13
  Replies (7) Good night (1954) Bad night (660)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  trapped on the roof of the strip club. help

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  (513): trapped on the roof of the strip club. help http://tfl.nu/oy6k
  Replies (6) Good night (2143) Bad night (618)
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  (424): View more from California

  This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it

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  (424): This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it http://tfl.nu/0y9z
  Replies (2) Good night (1263) Bad night (544)
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  (628): View more from California

  Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.

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  (628): Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes. http://tfl.nu/sfav
  Replies (4) Good night (1034) Bad night (341)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men

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  (503): At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men http://tfl.nu/ey0x
  Replies (2) Good night (434) Bad night (325)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!

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  (612): Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas! http://tfl.nu/ggjg
  Replies (6) Good night (804) Bad night (282)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.

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  (865): I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved. http://tfl.nu/vcfc
  Replies (1) Good night (497) Bad night (293)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."

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  (907): I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award." http://tfl.nu/96ui
  Replies (3) Good night (464) Bad night (103)

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