Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least