I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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