Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I wish i was in the wii world.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
