U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize