if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize