if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
