Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
