why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
