lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
