honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
