how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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