"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
