Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
