i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
