Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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