It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
