still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
