Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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