So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
