I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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