people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
