what day is it and did you see me today?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
