Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize