Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
