Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Randomize
