Pappa wants mamma naked
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
