yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
