I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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