Don't you send me to vm
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize