do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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