On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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