its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
