so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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